Related:

• CLARIONET, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears.
  There are two instruments that are worse than a clarionet -- two clarionets....
• LITIGATION, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ACCORD, n. Harmony. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• IMPUNITY, n. Wealth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• TRUCE, n. Friendship. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• HOMOEOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• November, n.: The eleventh twelfth of a weariness. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• ACHIEVEMENT, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...