Related:

• Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they become soggy and hard to light.
  Do not throw cigarette butts in the urinal, for they are subtle and quick to anger....
• Please don't throw your cigarette butts on the floor - the cockroaches are getting cancer.
• There is a shrieking sound, as of reality being distorted.
  brothers, the Wizard of omega appears before you.....
• Symptom: Floor swaying. Fault: Excessive air turbulence, perhaps due to air-hockey game in progress.
  Action Required: Insert broom handle down back of jacket....
• A Dill Pickle makes a soggy bookmark.
• Why do smokers think they have the right to litter the world with cigarette butts?
• Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
• Homer: [voice-over] The next few weeks at my dream job were like a wonderful waking coma.
  [Homer turns the balls so all finger holes point the same way] [everyone walking by says, "Hi Homer!...
• Old Ladies Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette.
  It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke....