Related:

• Smithers: Mr. Burns can't stand talking to his mother.
  He never forgave her for having that affair with president Taft....
• Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
• His elevator is stuck between floors.
• And on the seventh day, while He was resting, He created snack cakes.
  And He saw that they looked good, and He did bite into one, at which time he realized that they tasted like something that had been sitting on a shelf wrapped in cheap plastic for decades....
• Then there was the ScoutMaster who got a fantastic deal on this case of Tates brand compasses for his troup
  only $1.25 each! Only problem was, when they got them out in the woods, the compasses were all stuck pointing to the "W" on the dial....
• Gas station attendants pump all day.
• My horse got shot, so I had to break his leg...
• Marge: {I got a report on a domestic disturbance at this address.
  } Skinner: {Yes, indeed there is. There's an inflatable bath pillow that mother and I both enjoy....
• I'm from Downers Grove, Illinois. We had a blackout there the other day, but fortunately the police made him get back into his car before he got too far.
  -- Emo Phillip...