Related:

• Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
  He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face....
• CABBAGE, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
  The cabbage is so called from Cabagius, a prince who on ascending the throne issued a decree appointing a High Council of Empire consisting of the members of his predecessor's Ministry and the cabbages in the royal garden....
• The Poet Whose Badness Saved His Life The most important poet in the seventeenth century was George Wither.
  Alexander Pope called him "wretched Wither" and Dryden said of his verse that "if they rhymed and rattled all was well"....
• SUCCESS, n. The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
  In literature, and particularly in poetry, the elements of success are exceedingly simple, and are admirably set forth in the following lines by the reverend Father Gassalasca Jape, entitled, for some mysterious reason, "John A....
• LAUREATE, adj. Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's cou
  acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral....
• Incens'd with indignation Satan stood Unterrify'd, and like a comet burn'd That fires the length of Ophiuchus huge In th' arctic sky, and from his horrid hair Shakes pestilence and war.
  -- John Milton (1608-1674) -- Paradise Lost, Book ii, Line 707...
• Thou wilt quarrel with a man that hath a hair more or a hair less in his beard than thou hast.
  Thou wilt quarrel with a man for cracking nuts, having no other reason but because thou hast hazel eye...
• MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion.
  The chief temple is in the holy city of New York....
• SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence.
  It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death....