Related:

• Plumber: Well, to be honest, I never got around to ordering that part for you, so, uh, it's still going to be a couple of weeks.
  Homer: [sly] Oh, really? Plumber: Yes... Home...
• One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it .
  .. Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it. -- Ogden Nash...
• Anybody got any itch cream?
• Without a doubt, without a clue! Bill Clinton, that's who.
• A serious public debate about the validity of astrology?
  A serious believer in the White House? Two of them?...
• But scientists, who ought to know Assure us that it must be so.
  Oh, let us never, never doubt What nobody is sure about. -- Hilaire Belloc...
• It is better to be a has-been than one who never was.