Related:

• SOPHISTRY, n. The controversial method of an opponent, distinguished from one's own by superior insincerity and fooling.
  This method is that of the later Sophists, a Grecian sect of philosophers who began by teaching wisdom, prudence, science, art and, in brief, whatever men ought to know, but lost themselves in a maze of quibbles and a fog of words....
• ZEUS, n. The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.
  Some explorers who have touched upon the shores of America, and one who professes to have penetrated a considerable distance to the interior, have thought that these four names stand for as many distinct deities, but in his monumental work on Surviving Faiths, Frumpp insists that the natives are monotheists, each having no other god than himself, whom he worships under many sacred names....
• HEBREW, n. A male Jew, as distinguished from the Shebrew, an altogether superior creation.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper.
  In his character of editor he is closely allied to the blackmailer by the tie of occasional identity...
• JUSTICE, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PRE-EXISTENCE, n. An unnoted factor in creation. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...