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• A lady lost her cat, and took the cat in a little casket up to a big church and said, "I want you to bury my cat.
  And they run her off. She went to another church, and they run her off....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• She was ugly! She was known as a two-bagger. That's a girl who's so ugly, when you go out with her you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
  She was so ugly, you look in the dictionary under "ugly" and you see her picture....
• I just broke up with someone, and the last thing she said to me wa
  "You'll never find anybody like me again." And I'm thinking...
• I hold your hand in mine, dear, I press it to my lip
  I take a healthy bite from your dainty fingertips, My joy would be complete, dear, if you were only here, But still I keep your hand as a precious souvenir....
• Krusty: Oh, man. It's a miracle we got through that one.
  Remind me never to let you on stage again, kid....
• I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning.
  A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me...
• Certainly, I know what to do, and when I am Vice President -- and I will be -- there will be contingency plans under different sets of situations.
  And I tell you what, I'm not going to go out and hold a news conference about it....
• Marge: But on the other hand, when you don't take advantage of an opportunity, you can end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
  Homer: You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr....