Related:

• A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket.
  How old's your kid?" the conductor says, and the father says "He's four years old....
• A guy goes into a drugstore on a Friday and says, "Give me a gross of those safes.
  He comes back Monday and says, "There were only 143 in that gross....
• An old man lost all his money. Seventy years old, hasn't got a dime.
  Who does he blame? His wife. He says, "If you were a good wife, you'd go out and work for me....
• A man is crawling through the Sahara desert when he is approached by another man riding on a camel.
  When the rider gets close enough, the crawling man whispers through his sun-parched lips, "Water....
• A tourist leaves Bogolusa on his way to Opalousa, and is quite confused about the names of the various cities through which he passes.
  Stopping at long last for a late lunch, he enters a fast food chain restaurant....
• Two Finns and a penguin are sitting on the front porch of a large house.
  The penguin is dripping in sweat; his owner looks down and says to the other Finn, "Hey Urho, I want that you should take the penguin to the zoo, okay?...
• Ned: I don't know how I can possibly repay you! But if any of you ever need a favor, just look for the happiest man in Springfield!
  [pan over to a spunky man with a perpetual smile on his face in suspenders and a red bowtie] Guy...
• A pickup with three guys in it pulls into the lumber yard.
  One of the men gets out and goes into the office....
• Mr. Mitchell: Hi there. How can I help you? Bart: _You're_ the guy who owns the dog?
  Mr. Mitchell: Yep. His name is Sprinkles. Bart: Sprinkles?...