Related:

• REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom.
  The nucleus of a vacuum. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LITIGANT, n. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• Abstainer, n.: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RED-SKIN, n. A North American Indian, whose skin is not red -- at least not on the outside.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.
  An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was pouted on his lips to revive him....
• HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead.
  But the medical student does that. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• EPICURE, n. An opponent of Epicurus, an abstemious philosopher who, holding that pleasure should be the chief aim of man, wasted no time in gratification from the senses.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...