Related:

• That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted." ~~ Lou Costello, comedian, d. March 3, 1959
• Homer: Hello, Police? Are you sitting down? Good!
  I wish to report a robbery. Wiggum: [bored] A robbery, right....
• You may be redneck... if there's an Elvis portrait over the fireplace.
• I was right where the bullets were the thickest! Underneath the ammunition truck. -- Lou Costello
• Who's on first." "I don't know!" "No, he's on third.
  "Who is?" "No, he's on first." "Who?" "That's right." -- Bud Abbott and Lou Costello...
• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
  He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
• Lou: Here's your man, chief. Wiggum: Cecil? I think not.
  This looks like the work of crazy old Sideshow Bob....
• One thing that's always available on a golf course is advice.
  If you play like I do, you think everybody knows something you don't know....
• Homer: Uh, let's see: eighteen, twenty-seven, thirty-five.
  ..Dealer busts! Looks like you all win again....