Related:

• The honeymooning couple agreed it was a fine day for horseback riding.
  After a mile or so, the bride's mount cantered under a low tree and a branch scraped her forehead lightly....
• Homer: Hugh, there's something I want you to have. My Dad gave me his cufflinks on the day I married Marge and they brought us good luck.
  I couldn't imagine a happier marriage. We don't have many traditions in our family, but it would mean a lot to me if you kept this one alive....
• M: "Why don't I take you home and give you a thrill?" F: "You can't do both.
• Two recent recruits were in boot camp. They overheard two mosquitoes talking, both of which were large.
  The first said to the second "Shall we eat him here?...
• You must wake and call me early, call me early, mother dea
  To-morrow 'll be the happiest time of all the glad New Year,-- Of all the glad New Year, mother, the maddest, merriest day...
• Homer: Hey, look what I snagged, Marge: the candy bride and groom from the wedding cake!
  [swallows them painfully, as they seem to be made in metal] [he finally succeeds, as we hear a little splash] Mmm....
• Marge: You've worked hard at the bowling alley. Why don't you ask for a raise?
  Homer: Yeah, a raise. I've never been good enough at any job to deserve one before, but I'm damn good at this one....
• Marge: I get food in the mail, but in a different way.
  Every month, Good Housekeeping arrives in my mailbox bursting with recipes....
• Lisa: Dad, remember how you said going to Itchy and Scratchy Land would be too damned expensive?
  Homer: Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days....