Related:

• A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?
  After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I would want to be this happy again....
• A young man and his girlfriend were walking along Main Street when she spotted a beautiful diamond ring in a jewelry-store window.
  Wow, I'd sure love to have that!" she gushed. "No problem," her companion replied, throwing a brick through the window and grabbing the ring....
• A fellow bought a new car, a Nissan, and was quite happy with his purchase.
  He was something of an animist, however, and felt that the car really ought to have a name....
• You know that they have accepted each other when she doesn't scream at him for spilling something on the new carpet, and he doesn't get excited at her because of the dent in the new car.
• A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday.
  An hour later, when wandered through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of the kitchen....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put up with taking in a round with his wife.
  One time (with his wife along) he was having an extremely bad round....
• Get a new car for your wife, if anybody will swap.
• Vet: Your dog's condition has been upgraded from stable to frisky, [SLH walks out with his hind legs in a cast on rollers] and he's free to go.
  His legs should be as good as new in a few months, but in the meantime he'll have to use the wheelabout....