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• There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want, and after that to enjoy it.
  Only the wisest of people achieve the second. -- Logan Pearsall Smith...
• Marge puts a six-pack ring in a wastebasket] Lisa: Mom, Mom!
  You're mixing polyapolane with polyurethane Home...
• Merrill's First Corollary There are no winners in life; only survivors.
• We've got it great, here. And for the first time in my life, I'm actually good at my job.
  My team is way ahead of the weather machine and germ warfare divisions....
• What you think means more than anything else in your life.
  More than what you earn, more than where you live, more than your social position, and more than what anyone else may think about you....
• Fat, drunk, and stupid is the only way to go through life.
• Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
  -- Pardo's First Postulate Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats....
• Pardo's First Postulate: Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
  Arnold's Addendum: Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats....
• Enjoy life; you could have been a barnacle.