Related:

• He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
  The way it functioned was very interesting. When the DRINK button was pressed it made an instant but highly detailed examination of the subject's taste buds, a spectroscopic analysis of the subject's metabolism and then sent tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centers of the subject's brain to see what was likely to go down well....
• A lanky Texan was mad because Texas had just become the second largest state in the Union, so he made up his mind to move to Alaska.
  He drove for three days and three nights to get there and finally he came to what looked like the state line....
• One fine day, the bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route.
  No problems for the first few stops -- a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• While the engineer developed his thesis, the director leaned over to his assistant and whispered, "Did you ever hear of why the sea is salt?
  "Why the sea is salt?" whispered back the assistant....
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place.
  And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans....
• Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
  He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face....
• consult guide about matter transference beams A thoroughly unpleasant means of travelling which involves tearing you apart in once place and slamming you back together in another.
  (Of course, it's better than the older method, where disassembled people would be transmitted down phone lines and arrive in a garbled and sometimes completely disconnected state....