Related:

• The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never see her little dog Pritzi again.
  -- 1988 Bulwer-Lytton bad writing contest, runner up...
• Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-buil
  Portia was sleek, shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood...
• The Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest is held ever year at San Jose State Univ.
  by Professor Scott Rice. It is held in memory of Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873), a rather prolific and popular (in his time) novelist....
• The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Bea
  with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my steel through your last meal!...
• Quote #553 The battered starship bucked and yawed in the frigid belly of the interstellar ion storm
  her tortured steel deckplates screaming as they were mercilessly wrenched by the lashing gravity tide waves, the ship's disaster alarms blaring madly and the crash lighting casting an eerie red glow in the smoke-filled bridge as StarCaptain Lazlo Permute, gripping the diskette containing the necessary navigation coordinates to finally escape the storm, waited for the elevator door to the bridge to go "ding" and open....
• The countdown had stalled at 'T' minus 69 seconds when Desiree
  he first female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick, rubbery lips unmistakably -- the first of many such advances during what would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my career....
• Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth wate
  ippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center....
• Quote #557 Carlotta lay on the mound of pillows strewn about the floor of the poolhouse
  back arched and head thrown back, screaming the name of the only man who had ever taken her to the pinnacle of unbridled ecstasy, the only man with whom she had experienced the overwhelming rush of carnal electricity - unfortunately not the man who now peered up at her from the tangle of hastily discarded clothing with the sullen and quizzical visage of a calf looking at a new gate....
• The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted sullenly and
  buffing her already impeccable nails -- not for the first time since the journey begain -- pondered snidely if this would dissolve into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays spent with Basil....