Related:

• The original Star Trek crew is getting a little old.
  Capt. Kirk just flew the Enterprise 2 million light years with the left turn signal on....
• Why does the U.S.S. ENTERPRISE ("Star Trek") stock so much toilet paper?
  To wipe out the Klingons around Uranus....
• My friends, I am here to tell you of the wonderous continent known as Africa.
  Well we left New York drunk and early on the morning of February 31....
• The Enterprise crew avoids a battle - drink!
• How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  7. Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead....
• Most fish live underwater, which is a terrible place to have sex because virtually anywhere you lie down there will be stinging crabs and large quantities of little fish staring at you with buggy little eyes.
  So generally when two fish want to have sex, they swim around and around for hours, looking for someplace to go, until finally the female gets really tired and has a terrible headache, and she just dumps her eggs right on the sand and swims away....
• Most fish live underwater, which is a terrible place to have sex because virtually anywhere you lie down there will be stinging crabs and large quantities of little fish staring at you with buggy little eyes.
  So generally when two fish want to have sex, they swim around and around for hours, looking for someplace to go, until finally the female gets really tired and has a terrible headache, and she just dumps her eggs right on the sand and swims away....
• Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
  A: Seven. Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he'll immediately claim that he's a doctor, not an electrician)....