-- How many
members of the U.S.S. Enterprise
-- does it take to change
a light bulb?
7. Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light
bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which
Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty,
after checking around, notices that they have no more
new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the
dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency
stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to
procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock,
Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam
down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the
natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.
Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship
approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape
detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering
from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set
free and given all of the light bulbs they can carry.
Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the
planet just in time to beam up Kirk et. al. The new bulb
is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five
year mission.
Related:
Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a
light bulb?
A: Seven. Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in
the Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send
Bones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he'll immediately claim
that he's a doctor, not an electrician)....
How many
computer journalists
-- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so
you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a
remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a
third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months
later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint
in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is
coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb
is shipping with a virus....
How many
Christians
-- does it take to change a light bulb?
200!!! 100 to sit in church and pray long sonorous prayers for it
to see the light again, 10 to stand on street corners and point out
to others how that if they don't accept what they're being told,
their light might go out as well, 3 to try and exorcise the demon of
darkness out of the light bulb, 2 to gather together in
"the name of the lord" because where two or more are gathered together
in "his" name....
