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• I went to the doctor for a check-up. It was ok, he was there.
• I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading.
  So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading.
  So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. -- Steven Wrigh...
• Yar: "Captain Jean-Luc Picard, I wish I could say you've been like a father to me, but I've never had one so I don't know what it feels like.
  But if there was one person in this universe who I would choose to be like, someone who I would want to make proud of me, it's you....
• Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that like most books, it had too many words.
  The plot was the same one that all James Bond books have...
• Bart: Mom, I just saw Krusty! Marge: Yes, dear, in your mind.
  Bart: No, on the street. Marge: On the street in your mind....
• Goodness is the root of all evil.
• I was walking down Madison Avenue and I saw a very good-looking tie in a shop window.
  So I went in. Before I could say anything the manager said, "Oh, Tony Randall!...
• Homer: Eh, what do you mean by `suggested donation'?
  Clerk: Pay any amount you wish, sir. Homer: And uh, what if I wish to pay ....