Related:

• Wiggum: Wait a minute. If the second old geezer got shot, how come nobody reported it?
  [at the old folks home, they pound on door 26] [Jasper answers] Wiggum...
• Homer walks dejected through the empty alley] Home
  [voice-over] My marketing plan attracted a record number of police and fire officials....
• I was offered a job as a hoodlum and I turned it down cold.
  A thief is anybody who gets out and works for his living, like robbing a bank or breaking into a place and stealing stuff, or kidnapping somebody....
• Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know.
  I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh....
• EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN 1.
  Share everything. 2. Play fair. 3....
• Bart: Mom, what if there's a really bad crummy guy who's going to jail but I know he's innocent?
  Marge: Well, Bart, your uncle Arthur used to have a saying...
• Chandler: Well, y'know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff
  all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility....
• Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten.
  Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain but there in the sandbox at nursery school....
• Homer: Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the police academy, I thought it'd be fun and exciting, you know, like that movie, "Spaceballs".
  But instead it's been painful and disturbing like that movie "Police Academy"....