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• Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the Police Academy, I thought it's be fun and exciting, like the movie `Spaceballs.
  ' But instead, it's been painful and disturbing, like the movie `Police Academy....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Barney: Aw, Moe, we were saved by a sissy. Moe: Yeah, yeah, we'll never live it down.
  Oh, boy, it looks like it's suicide again for me....
• Moe: [sniffing a cigar] Ah, this place is going to smell classy all week.
  Barney: To Homer, the Wall Street genius! [everyone claps as Homer bows] [Homer lights a cigar with a $...
• Ned: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily.
  They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily....
• Homer: All right. The first thing they told me to do was to make sure everyone here is in the right class.
  [gets tobacco spat on him] Down the hall, room twelve....
• Marge: [gasps] Illegal gambling in my house? Moe
  _Your_ house? _Your_ house? Gee, it's so glamorously decorated I thought I was in Vegas!...
• Homer: Oh, I can't believe it, I got an enemy. Me the most beloved man in Springfield.
  Moe: Ah, it's a weird world, Homer. As hard as it is to believe, some people don't care for me, neither....
• Lenny: Hey, Moe...you got change for a five? Moe
  Yeah, sure thing Lenny. [opens cash register] [a cobra pops out and bites him repeatedly] A snake in the cash register!...