Related:

• It is a conspiracy.
• This is a test. Had it been an actual attack, the warning system wouldn't have worked.
• This life is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go.
  You may or may not be issued an actual life later....
• This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go.
• This is a test of the emergency cunnilingus system.
  If this had been an actual emergency, you would have known it!...
• This is a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror, and you would not have been informed.
• This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Had there been an actual emergency, then you would no longer be here.