Related:

• Microsoft Mandatory Survey (#4) Customers who want to upgrade to Windows 98 Second Edition must now fill out a Microsoft survey online before they can order the bugfix/upgrade.
  Question 4: What is your favorite Microsoft Office feature?...
• logical adj. [from the technical term `logical device', wherein a physical device is referred to by an arbitrary `logical' name] Having the role of.
  If a person (say, Les Earnest at SAIL) who had long held a certain post left and were replaced, the replacement would for a while be known as the `logical' Les Earnest....
• Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
  "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the unbelieving dean....
• lion food n. [IBM] Middle management or HQ staff (or, by extension, administrative drones in general).
  From an old joke about two lions who, escaping from the zoo, split up to increase their chances but agree to meet after 2 months....
• Stock up and save. Limit: one.
• A traveling salesman was driving past a farm when he saw a pig with three wooden legs executing a magnificent series of backflips and cartwheels.
  Intrigued, he drove up to the farmhouse, where he found an old farmer sitting in the yard watching the pig....
• There are well-dressed foolish ideas just as there are well-dressed fools. -- Nicholas Chamfo
• A feed salesman is on his way to a farm. As he's driving along at forty m.
  p.h., he looks out his car window and sees a three-legged chicken running alongside him, keeping pace with his car....
• Skinner: [to Edna] I'll handle this. Simpson! I'm giving you till the count of three to come out!
  One, two, three! [pause] I've done all I can do....