Related:

• ... and I asked for forgiveness but I don't know just what I'm asking it for.
• Sally: C'mon, Ted, all I'm asking you to do is share your feelings with me.
  Ted: ALL? Do you realize what you're asking? Men aren't trained to share....
• Marge: [in bed, reading the shopping list] I get the feeling there's something you haven't told me Homer.
  Homer: Huh? Oh, I love you Marge. Marge: Mm, Homer, you tell me that all the time....
• Quimby: In the spirit of the occasion, I must tell you what I think.
  You two screwed up royal! Worker: Ya know, I really don't feel like being blamed....
• Marge: What's the matter, Bart? Weren't you happy with him?
  Bart: No, he just wasn't the right dog for me....
• Cthulhu loves me, this I know; the Necronomicon told me so.
• Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back.
  NOW who's asking the questions? -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• CAUTION is never asking, "Do you still respect me?" SELF-PRESERVATION is not admitting that you don't.
• Burns: [sadly] Simpson, I am by most measures a successful man.
  I have wealth and power beyond the dreams of you and your clock-punching ilk....