Related:

• Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. LEBOWITZ
• Never allow your child to call you by your first name.
  He hasn't known you long enough. -- Fran Lebowitz...
• The bear is confused; he only wants to be your friend.
• Pro: Children ask better questions than do adults. "May I have a cookie?
  "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?...
• Educational television should be absolutely forbidden.
  It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens....
• No animal should ever jump on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in conversation.
  -- Fran Lebowitz -- Social Studie...
• No animal should ever jump on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain he can hold his own in conversation.
  -- Fran Lebowitz...
• Gifts for Children -- This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want.
  They spend months and months researching these kinds of things by watching Saturday- morning cartoon-show advertisements....