Related:

• Marge: [making lunch] Extra mustard for Bart, sliced diagonally, not lengthwise.
  Light mayo for Lisa, cut off the crust. Double baloney for Homer....
• It was a favourite expression of Theophrastus that time was the most valuable thing that a man could spend.
  -- Diogenes Laertius (c. 200 AD) -- Theophrastus, x...
• Bender: "Oh my God, I'm so excited I wish I could wet my pants.
• There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.
  -- Spencer Tracy...
• Q: What does a WASP Mom make for dinner? A: A crisp salad, a hearty soup, a lovely entree, followed by a delicious dessert.
• I remember those happy days and often wish I could speak into the ears of the dead the gratitude which was due to them in life and so ill-returned.
  -- Gwyn Thoma...
• My mom was a little weird. When I was little my mom would make chocolate frosting.
  And she'd let me lick the beaters. And then she'd turn them off. -- Marty Cohe...
• My Mom always told me that sex was a dirty, ugly, horrible thing that I was only to do with someone I loved.
• Guard: Clear the way, clear the way! Performer coming through.
  Marge: This is so exciting. Last time I got to go backstage was when Bart ripped his pants at the Christmas play....