Related:

• SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment.
  A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine....
• When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman.
  After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us....
• When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman.
  After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us....
• When I was a kid, my favourite relative was Uncle Caveman.
  After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in awhile he would eat one of us....
• LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• ALLIGATOR, n. The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.
  Herodotus says the Indus is, with one exception, the only river that produces crocodiles, but they appear to have gone West and grown up with the other rivers....
• BOUNTY, n. The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.
  A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year....
• CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiatio
  and who followed the primitive economic maxim, "Every man his own horse....
• BASILISK, n. The cockatrice. A sort of serpent hatched form the egg of a cock.
  The basilisk had a bad eye, and its glance was fatal....