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We Spend The First Twelve Months Of Our Children's Lives Teaching Them To Walk And Talk And The Next Twelve Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them
to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
-- Phyllis Diller
Related:
The sense of justice springs from self-respect; both are coeval with our birth.
Children are born with an innate sense of justice...
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller, "Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hi
How many of me -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change it, one to make up a joke about it, and one to spend the next 6 months going round telling it to everyone....
Never go to bed mad - stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Dille
Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them.
Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag....
Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them.
Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag....
Skinner: Edna! Krabappel: Seymour. Skinner: Mind if I sit down?
Krabappel: It's a free country. Skinner: I, I don't follow you....
Homer: All right. The first thing they told me to do was to make sure everyone here is in the right class.
[gets tobacco spat on him] Down the hall, room twelve....