Related:

• Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #3: Q: When he we
  had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?...
• I thought that you said you were 20 years old!" "As a programmer, yes," she replied, "And you claimed to be very near two meters tall!
  "You said you were blonde, but you lied!" Oh, she was a hacker and he was one, too, They had so much in common, you'd say....
• Nobert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories.
  Weiner was, in fact, very absent minded. The following story is told about him...
• Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
  -- Richard Lederer "Disorder in the Cou...
• Were you acquainted with the decedent? Yes, sir. Before or after he died?
  -- Richard Lederer "Disorder in the Cou...
• Harris had the beefstead pie between his knees, and was carving it, and George and I were waiting with our plates ready.
  "Have you got a spoon there?" says Harris; "I want a spoon to help the gravy with....
• I managed to say, "Sorry," and no more. I knew that he disliked me to cry.
  This time he said, watching me, "On some occasions it is better to weep....
• Phoebe: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
  Mr. Adelman: You're saying, my wife is in you? Phoebe...
• Of course I am sure you have all heard of Ma and Pa Kettle getting bored with life and deciding to go on the new television program, Divorce Court.
  They even agreed to get a divorce, just to see how it would feel....