Related:

• The saying of old Antigonus, who when he was to fight at Andros, and one told him, "The enemy's ships are more than ours," replied, "For how many then wilt thou reckon me?
  -- Plutarch (46-120 AD) -- Life of Pelopida...
• My son is 38 and he's still trying to "find himself.
  I told him when he does it won't be such a big discovery....
• We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength.
  But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant....
• My boy is mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias.
  Well, only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with a bulls-eye on the back....
• Laughing at his own son, who got his mother, and by his mother's means his father also, to indulge him, he told him that he had the most power of any one in Greece
  For the Athenians command the rest of Greece, I command the Athenians, your mother commands me, and you command your mother....
• A man enters a pet shop, seeking to purchase a parrot.
  He points to a fine colorful bird and asks how much it costs....
• On the old "You Bet Your Life" program, Groucho Marx was getting to know one of his contestants.
  The man told Groucho that he had 10 children. "Why so many children?...