Related:

• Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight right now.
  Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back....
• Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of underwear.
  We'll get back to you if we like the color. -- Answering machine madness - family fu...
• Computer generated voices:) 1: Hello, there are no real people here to answer the phone right now.
  2: Yeah, nobody but us machines! 1: Right, just us machines, but don't hang up!...
• My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
  -- Answering machine madness - family fu...
• Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra":) Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached.
  .. (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can....
• I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.
  .. (or) I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person....
• We're not home now. Leave your name and number and we'll call you back as soon as you are a vegetarian.
  (Replace "vegetarian" with prejudice of your choice....
• Hi, you've reached the home of George Ledec. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now.
  If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now....
• Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice:) Hello, this is the executioner.
  Joe can't come to the phone right now because he's DEAD!...