Related:

• When I did my self-portrait, I left all the pimples out because you always should.
  Pimples are a temporary condition and they don't have anything to do with what you really look like....
• If you do that you have a chance of dying.
• To all aspiring young comedians--when are you going to do something with your life?
  Get a real job in hardware sales or taxidermy--meet a nice girl, settle down, and stop hanging around those comedy clubs with all your comedy bum friends....
• No, I do not know what the Schadenfreude is. Please tell me, because I'm dying to know.
  -- Homer Simpson When Flanders Failed...
• Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I call it.
  Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?...
• Homer: Listen here: my name is Homer J. Simpson. You guys think I'm dead, but I'm not.
  Now I want you to straighten this out without a lot of your bureaucratic red tape and mumbo- jumbo!...
• Why not? -- What? -- Why not? -- Why should I not send it?
  Why should I not dispatch it? -- Why not? -- Strange!...
• Monica: Please tell me you_re stopping now. Pete: I_m fine!
  I'd fight tonight, if they_d let me. [stands up and starts swinging his arms] See this circle I'm marking off here?...
• The most interesting time of human life, I think, is when your heart stops, and for between two and 15 minutes, your brain is still running.
  I think the most interesting part of my life is going to happen in those two to 15 minutes....