WHY GOD WILL NEVER GET TENURE AT ANY UNIVERSITY 1. Only published
one book. 2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. He did
not publish it in referenced journals. 5. Some doubt He even wrote
it Himself. 6. He is not known for His cooperative work. 7. Sure,
He created the world, but what has He done lately? 8. He did not get
permission from any review board to work with human subjects. 9. When
one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning all
the subjects. 10. When sample subjects do not behave as predicted,
He deletes the whole sample. 11. He rarely comes to class-just
tells His students to read the Book. 12. It is rumored that He sometimes
lets His Son teach the class. 13. Although He only has 10 requirements,
His students often fail His tests. 14. He expelled His first two students
for learning. 15. His office hours were infrequent and usually held
on a mountain top.
-- faculty members at Kansas State University
-- instructors at Allen County Community College
