Related:

• WHY GOD WILL NEVER GET TENURE AT ANY UNIVERSITY 1. Only published one book.
  2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. He did not publish it in referenced journals....
• Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
  He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face....
• Rabbi K: You know that my son Herschel was first in his yeshiva class?
  As a matter of fact, he was voted `The most likely to hear God'....
• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
  He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
• You are old, father William," the young man said, "And your hair has become very white
  And yet you incessantly stand on your head -- Do you think, at your age, it is right?...
• Ned: Our annual father-son rafting trip is next weekend.
  Bart: [thinking] Oh no, me bring Homer on a rafting trip?...
• The captain. He's a real son of the sea. He first became interested in ships when his mother approached him.
  John, your father wants you to build a boat at once," she said....
• FATHER: You only killed the bride's father - that's all - LAUNCELOT
  Oh dear, I didn't really mean to... FATHER: Didn't mean to?...
• And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?
  asked the father of his little son. "Diet....