Related:

• With a little luck, there's no reason why you can't live to be one hundred.
  Once you 've done that, you've got it made, because very few people die over one hundred....
• Maddam: your washing is done.
• Q: Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man soup in a plate?
  A: 'Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away....
• Life is just a bowl of cherries, but why do I always get the pits?
• Do you know why the fairy sits at the top of the Xmas tree ?
  One year, Santa had one tree left over after giving everybody one, and when one of his fairy helpers asked what she should do with it, he told her....
• A young married couple had their first child. Their original pride and joy slowly turned to concern however, for after a couple of years the child had never uttered any form of speech.
  They hired the best speech therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, all to no avail....
• A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?
  After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I would want to be this happy again....
• With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...