Related:

• No matter how you slice it, you can have your cucumber and eat it too.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh cucumber.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• A cucumber won't take you to a disco and dump you for a flashy blonde.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• You always know where your cucumber has been. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• A cucumber will never leave you for another woman. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• A cucumber won't leave you for a cheerleader or an ex-nun.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• A cucumber won't tell you that size doesn't count. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me