Related:

• Good morning, I'd like to have an argument, please.
• EXHIBITIONIST -- a fellow who wants to make one thing perfectly clear.
• I've never met a nymphomaniac I didn't like.
• One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl.
  ..I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?...
• One morning, four years ago, something happened that I will never forget.
  I woke up, and I looked at myself in the mirror, because I happened to wake up in the bathroom, and I said to myself, "Dave, you have a wonderful wife, you have a newborn son, you have a good job, you have friends who care about you, you have a lawn mower that starts on the second or third pull--you have everything a man could possibly want, and a whole lifetime ahead of you to enjoy it in....
• He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience
  like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it....
• Spock: "I have personally vouched for you in this matter, Captain.
  Kirk: "You...have personally...vouched..." -- "STVI:TUC", Stardate 9521.6...
• Did you hear about the absent-minded exhibitionist who was arrested for exposing his whatchamacalit.
• I like to have a man's knowledge comprehend more than one class of topics, one row of shelves.
  I like a man who likes to see a fine barn as well as a good tragedy. -- Emerso...