Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I once went for a job at one of the airlines. The interviewer asked me why I wanted to be a stewardess, and I told her--it would be a great chance to meet men.
  I was honest about it! She looked at me and said, "But you can meet men anywhere....
• The woman hurried home from her doctor's appointment, devastated by the medical report she had just received.
  When her husband came in from work, she told him, "Darling, the doctor said I have only twelve more hours to live....
• She was ugly! She was known as a two-bagger. That's a girl who's so ugly, when you go out with her you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
  She was so ugly, you look in the dictionary under "ugly" and you see her picture....
• Did you hear about the woman who hates her husband so much that she closes her eyes during intercourse because she doesn't want to see him enjoying himself.
• Old Ladies Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette.
  It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke....
• My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -- Emo Philip
• I told her, "Like (*&^%$# you are!
• Shary: Hello, Willie. Lisa: You know her? Willie
  Aye. Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country....