Related:

• You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
  She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. -- Ellen DeGeneri...
• You know it's going to be a bad day when: you turn on the news and they're displaying emergency routes out of your city.
• Riker: "Deanna, I don't know if you can hear me, I've, I've heard doctors say that even when someone's in a coma, they may be able to hear when people talk to them.
  But it might help, to stimulate the brain...speed healing....
• You know it's going to be a bad day when: your alarm clock-radio wakes you with the words "One minute to impact.
  -- Ambidextrous Rex (Of course, you won't have to worry about getting up to go to work.)...
• An early reference to Smither's homosexuality might be when Smither suggests, "I don't think women and seamen [semin] mix, sir.
  Burns says, "Yes, we know what you think." This episode came out long before Smithers was openly gay and I think it's one of the first overt references....
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...you look above the television for a title bar to find out the name of the program you are watching.
• In 1987 approximately 100,000 people had a total of about 25 tons of fat liposuctioned from their bodies.
  This is enough body to make 325 more people. However, they would really be in bad shape physically....
• You know it's a bad day when your team gets whipped by The Whalers!
• If you would be happy when others about you are not, while they count their troubles, you should take time out to count your blessings.