Related:

• A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?
  After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I would want to be this happy again....
• Certainly, I know what to do, and when I am Vice President -- and I will be -- there will be contingency plans under different sets of situations.
  And I tell you what, I'm not going to go out and hold a news conference about it....
• I do- I do- I do- I do- what any normal person would do at that age.
  You call home. You call home to mother and father and say, "I'd like to get into the National Guard....
• I would guess that there's adequate low-income housing in this country.
  -- Senator Dan Quayle, 10/27/88 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)...
• I think especially in her position, a highly successful professional woman, it would be a real exception to have an unwed child.
  -- Vice President Dan Quayle to The Chron's Jerry Roberts....
• Homer: Woo hoo! I'm so glad to have my mom back. I never realized how much I missed her!
  Marge: [pause] She's nice. Homer: But...? Marge: I just don't think you should get too excited about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years....
• I hope I never have to deal with it. But obviously I would counsel her and talk to her and support her on whatever decision she made.
  -- Vice President Dan Quayle responding to Larry King's question of how he would react if his 13-year-old daughter chose to have an abortion....
• If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking "Do you want fries with that?
  John Cleese...
• An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.
  She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears!...