For My Son, Robert, This Is Proving To Be The High-point Of His Entire Life To Date.

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For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high-point of his entire
life to date. He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days
now. He has the sense of joyful independence a 5-year-old child gets
when he suddenly realizes that he could be operating an acetylene torch
in the coat closet and neither parent [because of the flu] would have
the strength to object. He has been foraging for his own food, which
means his diet consists entirely of "food" substances which are
advertised only on Saturday-morning cartoon shows; substances that are
the color of jukebox lights and that, for legal reasons, have their
names spelled wrong, as in New Creemy Chok-'n'-Cheez Lumps o' Froot
("part of this complete breakfast").
-- Dave Barry, "Molecular Homicide"

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