Related:

• Remember the time he ate my goldfish, and you lied to me and said I never had any goldfish?
  Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl? -- Milhouse, "The Canine Mutiny...
• Did you...miss me? I certainly did. Many was the time I said to myself.
  ..'I wish _Percy_ were here...' Oh!... '...being tortured instead of me....
• Pardon me gentlemen, for the length of this letter.
  I did not have time to make it shorter. -- Blaise Pascal...
• It did not occur to me that my being with two men continuously would interest anyone or arouse anyone's misgivings.
  I asked for an invitation for Heinrich too, as often as it seemed possible, when Paulus and I were invited to a social gathering....
• I've been married and divorced three times," the young man lamented.
  "I can't hold a job for more than six months at a time, and I'm in debt up to my ears....
• Just as I cannot remember any time when I could not read and write, I cannot remember any time when I did not exercise my imagination in daydreams about women.
  -- G.B. Shaw...
• My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour.
  I said, "the whole time." -- Steven Wrigh...
• Bart: [Daniel Stern's voice, a la Wonder Years] Me?
  Get a job? Were they serious? I didn't realize it at the time, but a little piece of my childhood had slipped away, forever....
• Bart: Uh, Mr. Herman? Herman: Yes? Bart: Did, did you lose your arm in the war?
  Herman: My arm? Well, let me put it this way: Next time your teacher tells you to keep your arm inside the bus window, you do it!...