Related:

• Telephone, n.: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
  -- Ambrose Bierce...
• elephone, n.: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
  -- Ambrose Bierce...
• EULOGY, n. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MONSIGNOR, n. A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• DISTANCE, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs, and keep.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language.
  The least disagreeable form of dramatic action. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LITIGANT, n. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp.
  Calcraft the Hangman. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...