Related:

• Cynic, n.: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
  Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision....
• Cynic, n: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
  Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision....
• BLACKGUARD, n. A man whose qualities, prepared for display like a box of berries in a market -- the fine ones on top -- have been opened on the wrong side.
  An inverted gentleman. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity.
  "All men are ingrates," sneered the cynic. "Nay," The good philanthropist replied...
• WIT, n. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Wit, n.: The salt with which the American Humorist spoils his cookery .
  .. by leaving it out. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...