Related:

• Beer Gut? Nah, I got pregnant before I had the sex change.
• I WILL procrastinate, if I can just get started!
• Nah nah nah SHE'S GOT THE LOOK!
• I feel more like I do now than I did before I started
• I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
• 11) "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough.
  Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni...
• I can't be late--I just got here.
• I come from a small town whose population never changed.
  Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town. -- Michael Prichard...
• I could be a country-western singer. I just got done writing my latest song
  If I had met you earlier, I would have gotten rid of you long before now....