Related:

• God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all.
  When Satan heard this, he laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?...
• One day a gate breaks down between heaven and hell.
  So St. Peter arrives on the scene and calls out for the devil....
• Where can you find a good lawyer? In the cemetery.
• After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
  Although the insurance-company doctor testified that his bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking, the judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $...
• After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven.
  As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created....
• After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven.
  As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created....
• If you take a dog in, feed it and take care of it, it will come to think
  "See all he is doing for me; my owner must be a god....
• Marge: Bart, you said you were going to study. Ba
  [clearly in pain] Oh! My stomach. Marge: Mmm, you just don't want to take that test....