Related:

• Did you hear about the Newfie that Picked his nose apart so he could see how it ran.
• I have a box of telephone rings under my bed. Whenever I get lonely, I open it up a little bit, and I get a phone call.
  One day I dropped the box all over the floor. The phone wouldn't stop ringing....
• MY GOD SOMEONE RAN OVER THE CAT! Oh, didn't know you had a bagpipe.
• field circus n. [a derogatory pun on `field service'] The field service organization of any hardware manufacturer, but originally DEC.
  There is an entire genre of jokes about field circus enginee...
• She was ugly! She was known as a two-bagger. That's a girl who's so ugly, when you go out with her you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
  She was so ugly, you look in the dictionary under "ugly" and you see her picture....
• Reality is a truck that runs you over and leaves you lying flat in the road.
• Marge: [hearing the doorbell] Just a second! Home
  D'oh! [whimpers] Huh? [spots a bookcase] I never looked behind this whatchamacallit case before....
• Damn it . . . Don't you dare ask God to help me." (To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.
  ) ~~ Joan Crawford, actress, d. May 10, 1977...
• Did you hear about the man who broke his nose in amorous circumstances.
  He was making love to his wife doggy style and she suddenly ran under the bed....