Related:

• I just held my hand up to this buzz saw and lost one of my fingers!
  What do you make of that?...Damn--there goes another!...
• Grimes: God, he eats like a pig. Lenny: I dunno.
  Pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• A New Yorker was driving through Berkeley when he saw a big crowd gathered by the side of the street.
  Curiousity got the better of him and he leaned out of his window to ask an onlooker what was going on....
• A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.
  "That's what I like to see", said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man"....
• When one told Plistarchus that a notorious railer spoke well of him, "I 'll lay my life," said he, "somebody hath told him I am dead, for he can speak well of no man living.
  -- Plutarch (46-120 AD) -- Of Plistarchu...