Related:

• A fake fortune teller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight.
  Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved....
• Only in time of peace can the wastes of capitalism be tolerated. -- F. R. Sco
• Husbands and wives who complain that they didn't get what they deserved, should be congratulating themselves!
• Woman: I've been waiting for you, Lisa. Lisa: [gasps] How did you know my name?
  Woman: Your nametag. ["Hi, I'm Lady Lisa"] Would you like to know your future?...
• A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time.
  After he'd given her some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later....
• Vet: Your dog's condition has been upgraded from stable to frisky, [SLH walks out with his hind legs in a cast on rollers] and he's free to go.
  His legs should be as good as new in a few months, but in the meantime he'll have to use the wheelabout....
• Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving.
• File not found. Should I fake it? [Y/n].........
• Intolerant people should be shot.