Related:

• O! If I were a fish I'd lay hap'ly on my dish. Yes, that's my one and only wish -- To be a fish!
  For fish don't ever mish; They needn't flush after they pish!...
• Most fish live underwater, which is a terrible place to have sex because virtually anywhere you lie down there will be stinging crabs and large quantities of little fish staring at you with buggy little eyes.
  So generally when two fish want to have sex, they swim around and around for hours, looking for someplace to go, until finally the female gets really tired and has a terrible headache, and she just dumps her eggs right on the sand and swims away....
• Most fish live underwater, which is a terrible place to have sex because virtually anywhere you lie down there will be stinging crabs and large quantities of little fish staring at you with buggy little eyes.
  So generally when two fish want to have sex, they swim around and around for hours, looking for someplace to go, until finally the female gets really tired and has a terrible headache, and she just dumps her eggs right on the sand and swims away....
• A retired dentist who loves to fish. "Open wide," he mutters to the unseen fish as he waits for a tug on the line.
  Now bite down. This may sting just a little bit....
• You know you should be swimming when . . . You have a favorite brand of fish food.
• In the morning, laughing, happy fish heads In the evening, floating in the soup.
  (chorus): Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish head...
• Okay, I think that I can now return to my country and my village.
  By the way, how many forbidden books do you have?" "Oh,", one of them said to me, " their number grows up geometrically....
• Selma: Are you gay? Troy: Gay? I wish! If I were gay they'd be no problem!
  No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost....