Related:

• Accidentally Shot Colonel Gray, of Petaluma, came near losing his life a few days ago, in a singular manner.
  A gentleman with whom he was hunting attempted to bring down a dove, but instead of doing so put the load of shot through the Colonel's hat....
• Too Late A large number of turkies [sic] went to San Francisco yesterday by the two o'clock boats.
  If their object in going down was to participate in the Thanksgiving festivities of that city, they would arrive "the day after the affair," and of course be sadly disappointed thereby....
• Accident in Santa Cruz At this place, August 15th, William D Farrand was shot in the thigh by the accidental discharge of his pistol while he was in the act of putting it in his pocket.
  The wound is severe. -- From the Sacramento Daily Union of October 31, 1861...
• A young girl once committed suicide because her mother refused her a new bonnet.
  Coroner's verdict: "Death from excessive spunk." -- Sacramento Daily Union, September 13, 1860...
• David Brinkley: The daily astrological charts are precisely where, in my judgment, they belong, and that is on the comic page.
  George Will: I don't think astrology belongs even on the comic pages....
• A Hen Brooding Kittens A friend informs us that he saw at the Novato ranch, Marin county, a few days since, a hen actually brooding and otherwise caring for three kittens!
  The gentleman upon whose premises this strange event is transpiring says the hen adopted the kittens when they were but a few days old, and that she has devoted them her undivided care for several weeks past....
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
• September that never ended All time since September 1993.
  One of the seasonal rhythms of the Usenet used to be the annual September influx of clueless newbies who, lacking any sense of netiquette, made a general nuisance of themselves....
• For instance, several years ago we tracked down a twelve-year-old girl who was going to have an abortion so that we could talk her out of it.
  Talking a woman out of having an abortion is not news....